When you’re in a relationship, the first thing that happens is you start to get a flood of unwanted (and unsolicited) advice from just about every direction. People want to know every single detail and they also want to comment on every single detail of your relationship. Some people mean you well, but others are just being nosy and are jealous of your happiness. Always take other people’s advice with a grain of salt, but be sure to especially use discernment when it comes to advice from your single friend.
Your advice comes from where your state of mind is at the time. Your single friend may mean well, but everyone’s advice is colored by their own perception. If your single friend is bitter, angry, or hurt, they’re not going to be able to look at your relationship through your rose-colored glasses. When you call yourself venting, all they hear is you complaining about a situation you could get out of. Instead of thinking of ways to help you work on challenges you face in your relationship, they’re thinking about what they would do in your situation. And when you’re not in a relationship, your first response is “I wouldn’t put up with that”. Because when your’e single, you don’t have to “put up with” anything! Your friend doesn’t have to put up with anything, but you do. If you are in a loving, committed relationship that you want to stay in, you have to put forth the effort to work on it and make it work.
You should find a friend who is in a solid relationship and can present positive options for you rather than just getting hype with you. Your single friend is probably going to take your side. Your single friend is probably going to egg you on. Your single friend is probably going to be the one to suggest keying the car. But that’s not always the answer. When you’re having problems in your relationship, you don’t need someone to sit there and make a mountain out of a mole hill with you. You don’t need help blowing things out of proportion. What you need is someone who is actually in a successful relationship to help you learn how they’re making it work. You need words of wisdom. You need legitimate suggestions. You need someone to pray with and for you.
You may have some single friends who can give you sound advice on your situation without letting their current relationship status cloud their judgement, but these are few and far between. Not every single friend gives bad advice. Some of them have learned valuable lessons from their unsuccessful relationships and can speak from a place of experience. Some of them are not just jealous of your relationship. Some of them may actually want the best for you. But just know that that is not always the case. Whenever you receive relationship advice, take it to God. And pray for a spirit of discernment so that you can weed out the good advice from the bad.
What do you think? Should you take advice from your single friends?
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Top 10 things your single friend says about your s/o:
- You can do better
- Let’s just drink until you forget about him/her
- You have to leave her/him, here’s how you do it…
- Why can’t you come out with us? He/she doesn’t let you have any fun!
- All men are dogs
- Is anybody really “a good one”?
- They’re probably cheating on you anyway!
- Go ahead and just text so and so
- I wouldn’t put up with that if I were you
- I’m so happy for you!!!!!!!
Also read: How do you know you’ve met “The One”.
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